A bumpy day

It's almost half ten and I'm exhausted, but it's been a lovely day - not because everything went completely smoothly, but that even during the bumpy times of the day, your grace was ready for whenever I needed to receive it.

Another day resting in the retreat. You know how I miss you now. Did I really believe in all that you were? I am hoping, waiting, but at times it's so hard - I saw you suffer, die before my eyes..where are you now? I miss you so much. I rest my head at the stone of your tomb, for I can no longer sleep on your feet.

During mass today every word of every prayer was as heavy as a rock sinking inside me. And then every word of every prayer uttered, the readings of the Word, every person in silence or uttering, every song and note reached all became part of the tiniest crumb of bread that I too so unworthily became part of: "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" Isaiah 43:1